His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
