I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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