Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
