I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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