So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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