okay pat passed out under dana's car
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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