i jhust puked up my retainher.
look no pants
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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