You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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