worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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