my vag is so smooth its legendary
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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