How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
