Cold hands, warm shart.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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