If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
