Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
