i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
