it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
