so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
