At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
