Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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