i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
