there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
