doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
