so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
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Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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