I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dick very happy bro
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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