i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
