try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
