Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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