I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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