a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
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We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
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At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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