i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
