I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
