her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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