im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I love having hate sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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