i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
