You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
