i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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