I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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