Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
