There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
