party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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