Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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