I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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