my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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