I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
