their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize
