Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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