I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
