Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
