So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
