Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
