she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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