Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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