Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
