just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes