Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
