More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
