god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
