she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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