i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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