Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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