Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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