Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
