I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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