??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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