you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
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I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
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Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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