OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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